As much as I like to think of myself as a writing, parenting, working machine, life sometimes reminds me that this is not actually true. These past two weeks, I was felled by a vicious virus, that truly knocked me off my feet. One moment I was scrubbing the shower, singing old show tunes off key, as one does. The next I was crawling into bed, where I huddled in total misery for the next twelve days.
There were visits to urgent care and the ER, since breathing got tricky and sleep was impossible. There were various prescriptions and diagnoses, all of them wrong, until I finally got myself to my real doctor who figured out what was really going on. She got me properly medicated and things have been slowly looking up ever since.
But, for two weeks, I’ve done no work. I watched in a blur of fever as my email inbox filled up with notes from my editor about my next book, and notes from my day-job boss, telling me all my mid-semester paperwork is due this Friday, and notes from parents at my son’s school, where I chair the parent organization. But I was too sick to do anything but watch the emails come in and wonder how in the world I was ever going to follow through on all these tasks, let alone the goals I’d set for myself this month.
Well, the fever is gone, thank goodness, the antibiotics are slowly working their magic and I am sitting up in bed typing this blog, so that is progress! But now there is the work, and it feels impossible. It might actually be impossible to do it all in the time allotted, with the energy I have. But here I go, trundling slowly back into the world, having to trust that little by little, step by step, I will catch up.
And it occurs to me that so much of life is about faith. Faith in ourselves and our ability to overcome. Faith in the knowledge and understanding of others, (thank you, amazing doctor!) Faith in the idea that most of the time, everything will work out okay. And faith that when circumstances knock us flat, we can pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and start all over again.
So here I go, doing just that. At least I’m back to humming those show tunes again. And if you want to hum along, click here for some folks who were way more talented and on key than I am!